In my younger years and prior to being in full-time ministry, I longed
to meet and be in the company of "real" missionaries and true
servants of God. My heart beat with excitement and anticipation as they
related one story after another of great challenges and greater faith.
I yearned to experience the miraculous intervention and power of God
as did these ambassadors for Christ on the mission field.
My love for Jesus was deep; their love for Him was deep too. But I
always sensed that somehow there was a vast difference between us. In
other words, they "had something" I didn't have, and I wanted
it.
As time passed, the Lord began to show me that the difference was the
"price" they paid. I was still living in the "great American
dream." I had my own home, beautiful furniture, nice car, motor
home, regular income, health insurance, etc. I also attended a large,
popular church and was involved in Bible studies and evangelistic outreach.
But something was missing in my Christian life. And I wanted more.
Looking back on that time, I now realize that my heart was responding
to the call of God. My soul was thirsty and hungry for more of Him.
I wanted to know Him, to commune with Him, to sup with Him. Going to
church and playing the religious games just didn't satisfy the longing
in my heart. Sometimes, it only served to bring greater frustration.
Eventually, my secure little world caved in. I was forced to either
give in to fear or press harder into God. I chose the latter. And the
Lord met me there, in the hard places. He was closer than He had ever
been, guiding, comforting, and protecting. It was a terrible but wonderful
experience. On the one hand, everything we hold dear in this worldly
life was stripped away; but on the other hand, God was real, close,
personal and faithful. In short, He proved to be everything the Word
of God declares He is. Until we go through the valleys and the hard
places; until we go through the fire and the flood, we cannot know Him,
personally, to be Who He says He is.
What about the price? Just what is it, anyway? Does every believer
have to quit their job, sell their house, give away their car and impoverish
himself or herself to "pay the price?" The answer is "no,"
not unless God specifically tells you to. There are different prices
for different people in different circumstances. But one thing is sure,
whatever price God has designed for you to pay, it is not going to be
comfortable, easy, surface or cheap. It requires sacrifice. Jesus put
it this way, "Whoever does not persevere and carry his own cross
and come after (follow) Me, cannot be My disciple" (Luke 14:27
Amplified Bible).
The cross represents death--death to self. The self-life has to be
crucified (mortified, put to death), if the life of Christ is to be
manifested and maintained within us. Sobriety rather than silliness,
a mind set on that which is eternal rather than on that which is passing
away, a fixed heart and overcoming faith are some of the characteristics
of a Christian who has crucified the flesh. Humility, fear of God and
integrity mark the person who has relinquished conceit, pride, preoccupation
with self and selfishness.
The Apostle Paul wrote, "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless
I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now
live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me,
and gave himself for me" (Galatians 2:20).
The problem is, most of us want the easy way out. We don't want to
pay the price; we're always looking for bargains, sales and shortcuts.
It takes integrity, character and fortitude to pay the price God demands.
He digs deep. His fire is hot. His Word pierces to the depths of our
being. His eyes penetrate our souls. We may hide from ourselves in our
own delusions and deceptions, but we cannot outrun or hide from the
Holy Spirit.
First of all, God is a gentleman. He never forces His will upon a man
or woman. He calls us, woos us and upholds the truth for us. But the
decision to come higher, to go deeper, to enter into the Holy of Holies
is always our choice. When our longing soul finally becomes humbled
before Him, He will bring us to the point of decision.
I remember that time so well. The battle was fierce--faith and fear
warring against one another.
But perfect love casts out fear, and I laid my life on His altar with
the words, "Lord, whatever it takes, take my life and use it
for your glory. I want to know You, to really know You!" In
that instant, it was revealed to me that I was going to lose it all
and I did. God sometimes has to prune us down to the very roots, and
often even dig us up entirely in order to reshape us into the vessel
of His choosing. Does it hurt? Yes! But it is glorious because God's
workmanship is for eternity.
Years ago evangelist and author Betty Swinford used to travel to Washington
State, as well as other parts of the country, holding revival meetings.
She has a powerful anointing and ministers in Spirit and truth. Through
her ministry countless souls have been saved, healed, delivered from
demons and filled with the Holy Spirit. Somehow, in spite of all the
parade of speakers, teachers, preachers and evangelists I sat under,
she had what I wanted. She had paid the price!
Then one day the opportunity presented itself to ask her how she got
her ministry. I will never forget Betty's soft answer as she wearily
turned her eyes upon my eager face and half whispered one word, "Suffering."
That word struck terror into my heart. I went home and pondered that
one word for three days. The struggle was intense. Who wants to suffer?
Who wants to go without, to turn their back on the great American dream?
What would people think? How does joy and happiness come out of suffering?
Wasn't there some other way? No, there is only one way--the way of the
cross. He bore His; we must bear ours.
Many years have passed. Years of leanness, years of hardship and, yes,
suffering. There have also been times when nothing seems to make sense.
But the ways of God don't make sense to the natural man. The carnal
mind cannot comprehend the ways of God! We are not here to understand
all about God, but rather we are here to love Him, trust Him and obey
Him. When we do these things, then we begin to understand His ways,
(which are higher than our ways); we also begin to know Him! The Lord
God Almighty never commanded that we strive to understand Him, but rather
to love Him. We are to seek Him, worship Him, trust Him.
Sometimes we naively make the mistake of crediting a Christian who
is going through much turmoil and loss as "paying the price"
when they are simply reaping what they have sown. There is a vast difference
between paying the price and reaping what you sow! There are times when
God allows Satan to test us, as with Job; times when God allows persecution
to refine us and bring Him glory; times when we are simply victims of
this fallen world and times when we do reap what we've sown. Through
it all, the Lord desires our hearts. Will we continue to believe Him,
trust Him and love Him in spite of the "price"?
The question is, are you willing to pay the price? Does Jesus mean
everything to you or are you lukewarm because of the cares of this world?
Are you gaining higher ground every day, or are you neglecting your
salvation to the destruction of your soul? Will He find you faithful?
Hebrews 12:1-4, Amplified Version gives us these encouraging admonitions:
"Therefore then, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud
of witnesses [who have borne testimony of the Truth], let us strip
off and throw aside every encumbrance, unnecessary weight, and that
sin which so readily (deftly and cleverly) clings to and entangles
us, and let us run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence
the appointed course of the race that is set before us, looking away
[from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the
Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and
is also its Finisher, bringing it to maturity and perfection]. He,
for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured
the cross, despising the shame, and is now seated at the right hand
of the throne of God. Just think of Him Who endured from sinners such
hostility against Himself,reckon up and consider it all in comparison
with your trials,so that you may not grow weary or exhausted, losing
heart and relaxing and fainting in your minds. You have not yet struggled
and fought agonizingly against sin, nor have you yet resisted and
withstood to the point of pouring out your [own] blood."
What are some of the encumbrances, unnecessary weights and sin God
is asking you to "strip off and throw aside?" Ask the Holy
Spirit to show you! "And you will know the truth, and the truth
will set you free" (John 8:32, Amplified Version).
Answer the call, accept the challenge, acknowledge your need and ask
God to make you that acceptable living sacrifice. Pay the price--it's
worth it!
Other articles on the subject of suffering on this Web Site are:
